Monty: OK! OK! I admit it! I forgot the last four digits of your model number!

I'm sorry. I know I should probably stop being so amused by this storyline. But come on! The vacuum's holding an umbrella! AN UMBRELLA! It's funny!

Mark Trail: I'm looking for a dalmation puppy, she may have been hit by a car...

I am genuinely surprised to learn that Sassy is a dalmatian puppy, and the guy who does the coloring probably was too, assuming the guy who does the coloring actually reads the comic.

La Cucaracha: And now for a disjointed political message...

This should probably be the heading of every installment of La Cucaracha.

Family Circus: I'm a lot better at skatin' when I stay on the grass.

Oh, what's that? You like roads? Well, you better enjoy them while you can, because when Dolly stages her glorious Green Revolution, those fuckers are gone.

Zits: What's on your playlist, Mr. D?

One of the nice things about comic strips is the way your relationship to them changes as you age. Take Zits, for example. Not all that many years ago, I used to relate exclusively to Jeremy. But now, I have at least as much in common with old Papa Zit here. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that, but his series of podcasts on the history of Minoan bull leapers sure does sound interesting.

Mark Trail: I think she knows what your said, SALLY!

Oh my God, Sally appears to be a fat old lady version of Dr. Doolittle. Her long-haired brother's dog meat factory is just going to be that much more shocking now.

Family Circus: Do you know the world is round?

And so Billy's latest parable has apparently been thwarted by Jeffy's idiocy.

This is not surprising.

F Minus: Happy Birthday from your husband and all of us here at rememberyourwifesbirthday.com

Et tu, F Minus? Even you?

Monty: Oh no ... I was afraid this would happen.

If robot-on-vacuum love ever ceases to amuse, the terrorists will have finally won.

Family Circus: Clean my room? ... But I'm not done getting it dirty.

One of the skills Billy is going to have to master if he ever wants to start a new world religion is that of debating. Unfortunately for him, his entire family is composed of idiots, so he's started to toss off lazy arguments like this. They might work on the easily baffled likes of Thel, of course, but theologians the world around would probably be able to refute them pretty quickly.