Cleats: For a soccer team, this all-you-can-eat pizza place works out much better than a fancy-schmancy restaurant.

Ha ha! Populism!

Cleats: I hope that's melted snow.

Ha ha! Urine!

Cleats: And then you'd have to get into popular culture.

"Of course, even with all that, it would still suck."

Cleats: Grrrrrrrr...

Michael Vick: evil enough that people hate him in a borderline irrational manner, but not so evil that he can't appear as a punchline in a family comic strip.

Cleats: First sign of a bubble and I'm outta here!

This comic is hilarious because it's about farting.

Cleats: Peri, if Edith and I stay out here long enough, we're going to look like you.

This comic is hilarious because black people have darker skin than white people.

This joke was also hilarious in Luann a week ago.

Cleats: It's not just any soccer ball, Jack. It's a Miley Cyrus soccer ball.

Miley Cyrus is kind of creepy. A Miley Cyrus soccer ball is creepier yet. But that kid's jealous obsession with the Miley Cyrus soccer ball is the creepiest thing of all.