Family Circus: Mommy's dressin' up her ears. That means we're not going.

Since it's unlikely that Thel would bother wasting her time by dressing up for her ungrateful louse of husband, she is apparently having an affair. Finally.

Get Fuzzy: Alright, mate? Dead fish for an ear rub and that?

Is there a consensus opinion out there amongst Get Fuzzy fans on the value of Mac Manc McManx? Because I love him, but I could envision a lot of people hating him.

Also, does this count as soliciting prostitution?

Drabble: Isn't that a little bit long for a thank you note?

This comic is hilarious because of the women with all their talkativeness and whatnot.

Mark Trail: Mark, am I glad to see you!

And so, after reaching its apex with a little lawman-beating fisticuffs, this story has rapidly turned to suck. It was inevitable, but it's still kind of sad to see.

Lest we forget, it all began with this. At which point Mark drove off what appeared to be a cliff. Only it turned out to be a two-foot-high rock bank. But then there was the very dangerous combination of a flat tire and a frolicking puppy. At which point Rusty got hurt. OH NO, THE JACK IS BROKEN! At which point Mark breaks into a convenience store. Where he gets hit on the head with a wrench by a walking, talking plot device who gives way to the cigar-chomping sheriff seen above. Who throws Mark in jail as Rusty continues to melt rapidly. Fisticuffs! More melting Rusty. Grand theft auto! And now, here we are, with Mark and the Sheriff teaming up to save Rusty's no-doubt magically restored body. Like I said, inevitable but sad.

Mallard Fillmore: If President Bush had said this, you'd still be hearing about it. At the impeachment hearings.

Ha ha! Because it's the Democrats who impeach presidents for saying stupid things.

Family Circus: I'm so happy, if I was a doggy my tail would be waggin'!

And Jeffy knows a thing or two about wagging his tail.

Better Half: Spray some deodorant, drive your car, burn some coal, cut down a tree ... If it causes global warming, go for it!

This cartoon is hilarious because the bird doesn't understand how global warming works, either.

Beetle Bailey: I'm a human being, darn it! Not a punching bag!

The image in the second panel of this Beetle Bailey comic is seriously the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in the comics section. Upon seeing it, I was fairly certain for a moment that the punchline was going to involve Sarge murdering Beetle and stuffing his body to use as a punching bag. Of course, something like that could never get by the censors, but even the actual punchline does very little to stem the really rather horrifying implications of the drawing.

BC: Monopoly 2009 Edition

This comic is hilarious because the corpse of Johnny Hart is taking anachronism to impressive new heights.

Family Circus: Year-End "Rememberies"

This cartoon is hilarious because these are seriously the finest examples of their own work that Keane Inc. could find from the past year.

*Comics Section commentary on the individual cartoons here, here, here and here.