Family Circus: But I CAN'T go to the bathroom myself--this isn't our house!

Having relocated, Jeffy is unsure how to poop. This has made him sad.

Family Circus: But Sam doesn't even KNOW he's a dog! He's one of the family!

Here we see Billy--good, decent, humane Billy--lashing out at an unfair and arbitrary system. As Ghandi once said (maybe), "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."

This cartoon is hilarious, of course, because no one actually believes that shit.

Family Circus: We're chimpanzees! So, you can be Jane Goodall and keep an eye on us.

Billy knows who Jane Goodall is. This is very impressive for a five-year-old. He continues to be a genius.

Family Circus: Is it okay if PJ and I get a little wet?

Dolly never passes up an opportunity to further humiliate her powerless mother.

Family Circus: So, what are you plannin' to turn into when you grow up?

Jeffy, of course, believes that he already turns into a werewolf. This cartoon seems to suggest that he thinks this puts him ahead of the curve. It is all very sad.

Family Circus: No, Mommy! I can dress myself!

Thel, having allowed herself for one brief moment to believe her idiot son capable of performing one simple task on his own, ended up sorely disappointed.

Mallard Fillmore: Who needs something that completely ignores you while expecting to be fed?

Oh, Mallard Fillmore, it's a good thing you're an adorable duck, or you're hatred of women would be really offensive.

Mark Trail: WHAT?

Five hundred dollars is a pretty darn good reward for a yellow Dalmatian puppy, but Greedy McMustache here is having none of it. Cherry is either shocked or on the verge of tears. It's hard to tell which.

Hi and Lois: Why are so many of the movies these days SEQUELS?

Everyone's so miserable in the HiandLoisverse that they can't even enjoy Toy Story 3.

This is not surprising, but it is sad.

Family Circus: I think we need to hem the sleeves on these pants.

Pants don't have sleeves, Jeffy's an idiot, etc., etc.