Get Fuzzy: You realize you're tiny, right?

Every single character in Get Fuzzy talks differently than every other character in Get Fuzzy. Likewise, every relationship between any two characters is different than every other relationship. As today's comic shows, this goes for the bit characters too.

Dennis the Menace: There. See how easy that was?

This cartoon is hilarious because Dennis is teaching Mr. Wilson how to find pornography on the Internet.

Crankshaft: Can I get anyone a beer while we're waiting?

This comic is hilarious because women are really, really weak.

Family Circus: No, Daddy! Let's make him a NON-SMOKER so he'll last longer!

This cartoon is hilarious because snowmen don't get lung cancer and die horribly, but people do.

Crankshaft: Lena throws a slow ball, doesn't she?

This comic is hilarious because women are weak.

Crock: What did you give him?

I've long held that Crock is not a real comic strip. It is, instead, a synthetic comic strip-like product. While I'm not a huge fan of something like Frank and Ernest or Herb and Jamaal, both of those comics read like actual comics. They're hackish, sure, but they're hackish in recognizable ways. They always have a set-up and they always have a punchline. Crock, on the other hand, has neither. It instead just sort of meanders from panel to panel in a way that seeks to imitate what real comic strips look like. While Frank and Ernest is low-grade cheddar cheese, Crock is like a tub of processed cheese-flavored goo.

Given all that, I'm not going to be too hard on today's Crock. After all, this strip has an actual set-up and an actual punchline. Sure, it's hackish and politically ignorant, but the author really seems to have taken some sort of pride in his work for once. Why, I'm not really sure, but good for him anyway!

Indeed, today's Crock just goes to show that anyone can be an ignorant hack if they're willing to work hard enough. There's a lesson here, I'm sure of it.

BC: Humans occupy this planet.

If I can praise Garfield for its bold* stance against global warming, I can praise BC for its bold stance against, well, mostly humor but also possibly global warming, I think?

*For the comics section.

Girls and Sports: Wow! That girl is sooo hot!

I think Girls and Sports just made a moderately interesting observation about gender relations.

This will most likely never happen again.

Family Circus: Wow! So you can build a whole snowman without readin' any 'structions, Daddy?

This cartoon is hilarious because Dolly is cruelly mocking her father, Jeffy's about to get his head crushed, PJ's defecating and Billy has given up on his family and decided to build his own damn snowman.

Monty: It's not working

In which Monty redeems itself.