Curtis: Andrew told Lila of his risky idea.

OK, seriously, how in the fuck is this plan even remotely risky?

Beetle Bailey: You can look but you can't touch, right, Amos?

Fucking feminists, with their "no dehumanizing objectification or sexual harassment of coworkers" nonsense, am I right?

Dog Eat Doug: I see a bright future for you in the banking industry.

A cookie is the most delicious metaphor of all.

Big Nate: My favorite place in the mall is Pretzel Time!

This comic is hilarious because fat kids like to eat.

Moderately Confused: Directions to our home? Follow the sound of screaming children.

And this is why you never open the door for Marmaduke, OK kids?

Curtis: It was risky, but it might save her son, and everyone else!

Given that Andrew has already managed to destroy humanity (with the exception of himself and big-eyed, time-traveling Lila here), I'm curious as to what sort of idea would still qualify as risky.

Better Half: I caught a snowflake on my tongue and it tasted like a tropical cocktail.

After a long break, Better Half has returned to its always cogent global warming commentary.

The Phantom: Dad's home!

Ha ha! These kids think they're going to get to see their father! They should know by now that The Phantom doesn't do family time.

Herb and Jamaal: Running up bills, jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth.

This comic is hilarious because women are economically illiterate, irrational liars.

Nancy: I'll show you the most impressive skyscraper of all.

I'm not sure I like where this is going...

Somehow, this is even worse.