Family Circus: Mommy, which is shorter--a "CAT nap" or a "PEOPLE nap"?

The catnap thing is usually Dolly's territory, but the lack of clothing makes this cartoon all Jeffy.

Blondie: It says here that this cola is a new and improved formula.

Wow, a New Coke joke. And only 25 years too late. But, of course, that only makes it more hilarious.

The Phantom: If I know KIT, he's hunting men like CHATU this very MINUTE!

And so Diana apparently knows that she married a violent, vengeful douche who would immediately abandon their children in an effort to work out his own violent, vengeful, douchey grief. And she likes him that way!

Their kids are going to turn out great.

Family Circus: I wanna go visit that country. It's my favorite color.

Oh, look, the whole world is Dolly's favorite color.

This is not surprising.

Dennis the Menace: It's tough times for lemonade salesmen, Joey.

And so the recession has come to Menaceville. How long will it be before Dennis is forced to return to his rentboy days?

Beetle Bailey: Otto, you're supposed to be man's best friend.

Possible reasons for Sarge's self-loathing:

1. He's a repressed, closeted gay man.
2. He has been beaten down by years of cruel mockery.
3. He has a sneaking suspicion that his best friend actually hates him.
4. He is ashamed of his hideous, hideous feet.
   

Family Circus: Mommy! PJ's startin' to create another disaster!

No longer content with merely being a moralistic prophet, Billy has moved into the realm of the apocalyptic. He has seen a vision, and in that vision PJ's doodles creates a schism in the very fabric of space-time, thus trapping them in a never-ending time loop, as symbolized by a horrible circle that encompasses each of their activities and freezes their words in a bold typeface below the ground.

Edge City: I'M GOING TO CAMP!

Congratulations to Edge City for being the first comic to reach for the summer camp trope. With two children characters in the strip, the author should be able to use it twice without too much trouble. A third time in one summer might be pushing it, but if it's still producing this much hilarity, who's to say it would be wrong?

Beetle Bailey: Sarge shouldn't squeeze his toothpaste till he's fully awake!

On the surface, this is a comic about toothpaste on people's heads, ha ha.

But dig a little deeper. As Beetle notes, Sarge is still asleep. As such, it's entirely possible that this whole scenario is, in fact, one of Sarge's dreams. And dreams often take the form of metaphor. So here we are in the dreaming mind of Sarge, a self-loathing, deeply repressed, closeted gay man, holding a cylindrical "tube" and spraying a stream of "toothpaste" all over his coworkers' OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY.

NO, LOOK, TOOTHPASTE ON PEOPLE'S HEADS HA HA HA.

Family Circus: Mommy, can Michael and Linsey come in our house to PLAY?

These kids today with their TVs and their iPods and their Internets and their Nintendos and their [insert piece of technology that for whatever reason might not constitute "playing" here].