Cow and Boy: I've baited it with Bengay and hard candy.

This is how I caught myself a grandfather.

Marmaduke: Where do you find these never-ending New Year's parties?

Having finally been pushed to his breaking point, Phil has laid a brilliant trap for his drunken Great Dane in the form of a spiraling void of death just inside the door that will carry Marmaduke back down to the hell from whence he came.

Hagar the Horrible: Don't sit on that bar stool...

This comic is hilarious because Hagar's fat.

Family Circus: What part of your face hasn't been kissed yet?

I was going to list off the ten most disgusting things in the world, but it would have proven redundant, as Jeffy kisses actually fill all ten slots.

Lola: So, you want funny, filthy or Fonzie?

This comic is hilarious because all of those words in the third panel begin with the letter F.

Family Circus: I just got off the bus and there it was.

This cartoon is hilarious because Grandma Keane asks poorly worded questions, but we're supposed to think that Billy's the stupid one.

Candorville: Do you know where you are, Buffy?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer definitely falls under the Vonnegut Axiom as a cultural reference that will always result in an appearance on this blog.

Mallard Fillmore: I don't know what circles Jimmy and Harry hang out in...

This cartoon is hilarious because liberals are the real racists, while people/ducks like Mallard are, like, totally color blind and shit.

Born Loser: Guess what, Mindy--Jane was just talking to me about you...

This comic is hilarious because women sure do have big mouths, don't they?

Cow and Boy: It looks just like Wolverine!

I would watch that movie.