Family Circus: I'm sorry, your stomach is mistaken. It's not time for a snack.

This cartoon is hilarious because Jeffy is hungry.

Cow and Boy: Don't talk about global warming. People hate that.

"Barney's movie had heart, but Football in the Groin had a football in the groin."

Mallard Fillmore: Barack Obama's Other 2011 New-Year's Resolution.

There must be a tiny subset of Republicans who wake up every morning and jerk off all over that day's Mallard Fillmore. And they must all be CEOs at major newspaper companies.

I can think of no other reason why Mallard Fillmore would continue to get printed.

Family Circus: Gosh--that corner looks really lonely now.

In Dolly's New World Order, we will keep trees in our house all year long.

Crock and Non Sequitur: Why would he like living in jail?

There are two kinds of prison jokes:

1. Prisoners practically have it better than the rest of us!
2. Anal rape!

No, these are not contradictory at all.

*Non Sequitur from 12-31-10

9 Chickweed Lane: ...Oh, Mr. O'Malley.

In the next exciting installment of 9 Chickweed Lane: Anal sex.

Cow and Boy: Happy Anniversary!

I've mentioned before that I really like seeing older incarnations of a comic juxtaposed against the current incarnation. All the better when the cartoonist manages to do it in a funny way.

Adam at Home, Big Nate, Betty, and Candorville: Have you given any thought to a New Year's resolution?

I don't really blame cartoonists for using any particular trope (unless it's an especially egregious circumstance). The sheer number of stories (short though they may be) that cartoonists have to come up with over the course of a year is pretty daunting, after all.

The problem is that it's hard to really say anything particularly new or interesting or funny when you're simply rehashing a set-up that's been used a thousand times over. And that's what's happening here. These are all solid comic strips, but they're basically just going through the motions today.

Crankshaft: I use mine to kill spiders in the basement.

Make all the fruitcake jokes you want, Crankshaft, you'll never be as hacky as The Born Loser.

Family Circus: Now we get to go back and rerun all the months again.

The sad thing is, Billy's really not kidding at all.