Dennis the Menace: Do you give a free glass of milk with the free cookie?

Gasp! Requesting a glass of milk! My lands, that Dennis is just so rude!

Dennis the Menace: I hope you'll like it. I wrapped it all by myself.

I can think of only two reasons why this Dennis the Menace could be considered funny:

1. Because Dennis has failed to wrap the box up as well as he could have, though it doesn't look too bad to me.

2. Because the box contains Mr. Wilson's severed head.

I know which one I'm hoping for.

Dennis the Menace: Let us in, Margaret, or we'll huff an' puff an' blow your house down!

It was all fun and games until Margaret boiled Dennis alive.

Dennis the Menace: Better let Mom win, Dad, or we'll be eatin' leftovers for dinner.

This cartoon is hilarious because women are spiteful and hold men hostage with their singular ability to cook food.

Dennis the Menace: There's one that God'll hafta replace.

Some people out there say that the titular Dennis in Dennis the Menace is not menacing enough. But look at what's going on in this cartoon: Dennis is literally destroying celestial bodies with his mind and daring God to replace them. If that's not menacing, I don't know what is.

Dennis the Menace: Got room for ME?

This is creepy. This is very, very creepy. This is quite possibly the creepiest thing I have ever seen.

Also, it turns out it didn't take very long at all.

Dennis the Menace: It's tough times for lemonade salesmen, Joey.

And so the recession has come to Menaceville. How long will it be before Dennis is forced to return to his rentboy days?

Dennis the Menace: I'm not botherin' you, am I?

This cartoon is hilarious because Dennis is, in fact, bothering Mr. Wilson.

Dennis the Menace: You better open your present now, Mom. I think it may be getting HUNGRY.

In perhaps his most desperate cry for help yet, Dennis has kidnapped a baby to give to his mother in the hopes that it will rekindle in his parents the loving unity they felt when Dennis was an infant, thus creating once again the happy family he remembers all that time ago.

It is unlikely to work.

Dennis the Menace: You must have a REALLY strong tongue. Mom says it gets lots of exercise.

Either Henry and Alice are resorting to drastic measures in an attempt to breathe new life into their troubled relationship or Alice has given up on men entirely. Either way, Dennis should probably not be privy to this information.

Dennis the Menace: I know you do miracles. Mr. Wilson says it'll take a big one to squeeze ME into heaven.

This cartoon is hilarious and adorable because Mr. Wilson has just told Dennis that he is going to Hell, and now Dennis is pleading with God to spare him from an eternity of conscious torment.

Dennis the Menace: Mind if we stay with YOU till it stops?

Dennis the Menace has been dipping its toe into some pretty heady material lately, and today's cartoon just continues the trend. At first glance, this might just seem like an innocent cartoon about a young boy and his dog who got caught out in a rain storm and are seeking some temporary shelter from their surly neighbor. But given the last few weeks, it's quite clear that the rain is a metaphor for Dennis' difficult home life and the shelter he's seeking a desperate cry for help. It's pretty dark stuff.

Dennis the Menace: Wow, Dad! Do your "golf words" work on the mower, too?

Henry's sexual frustration appears to be negatively effecting him in his day-to-day life. Dennis just wants him to go away.

Dennis the Menace: If you're the boss of the house, how come you hafta play cards in the basement.

Henry and Alice appear to have come to some sort of reconciliation, in which Henry will live in the basement for the foreseeable future.

Dennis can be seen here rubbing salt in the festering sore that is Henry's life.

Dennis the Menace: Hot Dog's not as big as Ruff, but he's a lot harder to give a bath!"

And by "give a bath," Dennis obviously means "hold under water until he passes out."

Dennis the Menace: My dad says YOU got the muscles an' HE got the brains!

Here we see Dennis off on a visitation with his newly estranged father. It is not going well.

Dennis the Menace: Mom told me to act my age, so I did.

This whole "act my age" thing is just a comedy goldmine, isn't it?*

*Answer: No.

Dennis the Menace: You said I was the "man of the house" while Dad's away, so I ordered a pizza!

Apparently Henry's philandering, mixed with Alice's newfound feminism, has amounted to an even more volatile situation than previously hinted at, as Henry's "away" for reasons that go unexplained here but are fairly easy to suss out given our prior knowledge.

Yes, things are changing quickly in Menaceville. Things are changing quickly, indeed.

Dennis the Menace: What happened at Margaret's stays at Margaret's!

And so the corruption of our youth continues apace, as not even Menaceville is spared from the TV's siren song of consequence-free threesomes.

Dennis the Menace: We need some new toys around here. Can we use you credit card?

This cartoon is hilarious because Dennis would like to borrow his teacher's credit card and purchase some OH MY GOD WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO DENNIS' HAND?