Funky Winkerbean: Can you break that down a little?

This comic is hilarious because Funky was looking for a more precise timetable, but the doctor cleverly avoided answering the question by being a douche instead.

Family Circus: Why can't I play school, too?

I know that posts about how stupid Jeffy is stopped being funny months ago, but as long as Keane Inc. keeps making cartoons about how stupid Jeffy is my hands are kind of tied.

Edge City: I need to pay more attention to them--they won't be around forever.

This comic is hilarious because Abby is worried that her largely neglected parents are going to die.

Peanuts and Get Fuzzy: I would like to say I enjoyed this first day at school...

Today's Peanuts includes some very nice character work and an impressive, intricate set-up leading up to a short, emphatic and very funny punchline.

Today's Get Fuzzy, meanwhile, includes the phrase "cow-based art."

9 Chickweed Lane: ...

I can only assume, unfortunately, that this is foreshadowing, and the elderly hands will fuck doggy style.

Family Circus: Shouldn't you go home now, Bobby?

Here we see Thel becoming angry with her stalker.

Mark Trail: My stepfather must really like animals to get so many!

These two comics ran back to back. They are virtually the identical, except in one of them the little girl wants to put the deer into the pen, while in the other the little girl is glad she doesn't have to put the deer into the pen. Why? Because it's Mark Trail, I guess, and that's just the way Jack Elrod rolls.

For those of you who are behind on the current plot, by the way, it involves a wannabe politician, a mysterious fence, a bunch of animals, big game hunting, a little girl and a pet deer.

Ziggy: You are here.

And so it turns out that Ziggy is not only stupid, but also egocentric.

This is not surprising.

Family Circus: I won't know anybody!

Here we get to see into the mind of young Billy Keane and learn that until people have been indoctrinated with his wisdom, they are nothing but blank-faced vessels thirsting for identity.