Shoe: Senator, I thought you were in a 12-step program.

Alcoholism: almost as funny as torture.

Shoe: I'm now a member of the treetops water board.

Oh good. Torture humor. My favorite.

This comic is hilarious because America violated basic human rights and nobody cares HA HA HA.

Shoe: It must be a naptop.

See what the wizard-repairman bird-guy did there? He changed the first letter of "laptop" from an "l" to an "n" to create the word "naptop" instead. He did this because Cosmo always falls asleep when uses this particular laptop. This is the reason Cosmo called wizard-repairman bird-guy. Obviously.

And so I can only conclude that this comic is hilarious not because of the word play (which, after all, is not hilarious), but rather because Cosmo is a moron and the wizard-repairman bird-guy is about to beat him to death with a wrench.

Shoe: Hot air always rises.

I have no interest in taking the time to prove it, but I'm fairly certain Shoe uses the hot air gag at least once a week.

Shoe: Heck ... I'm the only one of my friends who's still living.

It just goes to show, no matter how bad you have it, someone always has it worse. Unless you happen to be this old guy, I guess.

Shoe: How do I get out of Treetops?

And so the mechanic in Shoe shares his misery with any passerby that will hear him out. "There's no way out of Treetops," he says. "It's a dying, dead-end town. A purgatory from which there is no escape. Having long lost our ability to fly from over-reliance on the dread technology, we just drive from rotting tree to rotting tree, hoping maybe, just maybe today will be the day a branch will break, and we'll go plummeting down to the sweet, sweet hell that at long last awaits us."

Shoe: Take me to the opera tonight.

Even male birds hate the opera ha ha ha.

Shoe: What do you think of the Brussels sprouts?

This joke is almost as funny as the time I saw it in The Family Circus.

Shoe: Irv, did I leave my laptop here yesterday?

This comic is hilarious because something about porn.*

*This is my laziest post ever. But does Shoe really deserve any better?

Shoe: IRS

At least he's not getting anally raped ha ha ha?

Shoe: Yikes! Did I just blog that out loud?

This comic is hilarious because it's becoming increasingly clear that Gary Brookins does not understand how anything on the Internet works.

Shoe: Post-paradigm-shift depression.

This comic is hilarious because it doesn't really mean anything at all.

Shoe: Google search.

This comic is hilarious because it's not entirely clear that Gary Brookins understands how Google works.

Shoe: It's illegal to do that to a car.

The only way this comic makes any sense is if you interpret it as Roz's attempt to seduce the mechanic. But that's horrifying. So it's probably best to just let the comic make no sense.

Shoe: and then ... our eyes met across a smoky room.

This Shoe makes an excellent point. Hack writers having access to lame clichés is absolutely more important than people not dying of cancer.

Shoe: That's how long I had to wait in line to buy them.

This joke would make a lot more sense if you actually had to go to the post office to get stamps.

So Cosmo's just a dumbass, basically.*

*I am not surprised by this.

Shoe: Except balancing the budget and paying off the national debt.

This comic is hilarious because Shoe doesn't understand basic countercyclical economic policy.

Moderately Confused: How long will your parents be living here?

This cartoon is hilarious because its author thinks that telling a hackish joke is okay as long as the characters in the joke are birds. Shoe disproved this theory years ago.

Shoe: But then, the government guarantees our social security money.

This comic is hilarious because it promotes the false notion that the social security program is unsustainable and ultimately just a plot to steal money from honest, hard-working birds.

Shoe: Coach? Who bats after Skyler.

This comic is hilarious because Skyler's coach is pointlessly cruel.