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"But don't WORRY, Mommy. Even though you've GROWN a couple of sizes, I'm sure Daddy still loves you ANYWAY. It's not like he'd LEAVE you just because you GAINED a few pounds and have a FEW gray hairs. Really, I wouldn't be at all concerned about it, Mommy. I'm sure he's JUST FRIENDS with the pretty young lady who bought our lamp last summer..."
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