Hagar the Horrible: A wife must get up before her husband, lay out his clothes, make his breakfast, pack his lunch and kiss him goodbye.

See, ladies, being oppressed by the male hegemony and having no say whatsoever in what you do with your life isn't so bad, now is it?

Family Circus: I'm feelin' lonely!

Bossing around a bevy of stuffed animals can only sate a future tyrant like Dolly for so long.

Beetle Bailey: Overpower.

And so Sarge appears to be having an affair with Mrs. Halftrack. Since this goes against everything we know about Sarge, one can only assume that this is either an attempt to keep up appearances or a humorous coloring error.

Baldo: I think Tia Carmen has found her dream pot.

And so Tia Carmen is probably a cannibal.

This isn't terribly surprising.

Family Circus: Will you open this, Mommy? I'm not sure it's done enough to eat.

This cartoon is hilarious because Jeffy wants to know whether the banana is ripe or not.

Also, there's something about the way the banana is situated in the center of the panel, set against the stark white background that strikes me as oddly compelling. It's as though the banana is not just a banana. It is a source of life. More than that, it is a totem of sorts, representing not just a source of life, but the source of life. And Jeffy, Thel, the dog licking its lips and, yes, us, we all revolve around it. I dare say, I think Billy may have found the central symbol of his new religious system, if only he's paying attention.

Dennis the Menace: If I had a brother, I'd want him to be just like you, Ruff.

And so Dennis would like one of his parents to copulate with a dog.

He has evidently been reading The Wizard of Id.

9 Chickweed Lane: ...Honey, these guys may be here to enjoy a tune, but they really like it when they can admire the instrument.

"No, really, all that matters is how fuckable you are. I hope you don't think they like you because you're talented or anything."

If I'm not mistaken, this is the guy Edie went on to marry. And isn't it obvious why?

Herb & Jamaal: sometimes you've gotta take advantage of the moment.

This comic is hilarious because Jamaal's such a terrible husband/boyfriend that his wife/girlfriend has to wait until he falls asleep to get her daily dose of imaginary personal affection.

Ziggy: Velveeta, Velveeta, Velvetta ... Haven't you ever heard of camambert?

And so Ziggy apparently eats nothing but large blocks of processed cheese product.

I think this more or less explains his physical appearance.

Pluggers: A plugger isn't concerned with "recalls."

This cartoon is hilarious because pluggers are much more likely to die in automobile accidents than the rest of the population.