Family Circus: The weatherman on TV didn't say anything about this, Daddy. Can we sue him?

And by "sue him," Jeffy means "cut off his head and eat his brains." Because he is a serial killer. But he's just smart enough to know that his shit doesn't fly in polite society. Not even with the Keanes.

Born Loser: You must have won.

This comic is hilarious because Brutus is a terrible father who does not attend his son's baseball games.

Pluggers: Pluggers know a hug makes the perfect gift...one size fits all and they are returnable.

The problem with Pluggers is that it's often just too dark and depressing. So today's cartoon, which indicates a shift toward more Rose Is Rose style euphoria, is surely a welcome development to everyone.

In the Bleachers: Stop! This is crazy. We mustn't.

This comic is hilarious because the man wants to fuck the fish, but the fish is having doubts.

Rudy Park: We know. It's not funny. Seriously. We know.

Actually, this is just as funny as any other Rudy Park. And far less annoying. The first three panels, anyway.

Betty: It's like watching a vampire hug a braid of garlic!

And this comic is hilarious because teenage boys don't like hugging their mothers.

Adam@Home: But no pony.

This comic is hilarious because little girls like ponies.

Sally Forth: Time to get you out of this funk, Mom.

In the next exciting installment of Sally Winkerbean: Sally walks into the attic and finds her mother's lifeless body dangling from the rafters. Annoyed but still witty, Sally remarks, "Geez, Mom, why don't we just hang around here all day?"

Lola: Some kid at the store today called me a dinosaur.

So Lola eats children.

This is not even remotely surprising.

Family Circus: I guess tents aren't very good for throwing balls against.

Jeffy is very, very stupid. On the other hand, he's not being a douche or fantasizing about killing anybody, so Thel should probably just let it go and count what few blessings she has.