Pluggers: I'll meet you over by the teriyaki chicken in 15 minutes.

If I were that anthropomorphic hen-lady, I would be taking that as a threat and getting the hell out of there.

Mutts and A Softer World: Adventures in melancholy.

An installment like the above makes it pretty clear why Charles Schultz was such a big fan of Mutts.

I have to believe he would have liked A Softer World, as well, had he ever gotten the chance to read it.

Mark Trail: Look, Sassy, there are some ducks on the lake near that old cabin!

Look. At this point, Rusty just deserves to die.

Pearls Before Swine: It is a dark and stormy night...WHAT CAN ME STAPLE?!!

The main source of humor in this Pearls Before Swine is the tonal shift that occurs between the second and third panels. This is reflected in the writing, obviously, with Billy's serious narration giving way to the pure absurdity of "What can me staple?!!" But it's also reflected in the art, with darkness giving way to the light.

The strip also plays off the characters well. Billy's worried narration is not just serious, but genuine. The reader actually feels bad for him. Larry's absurd stupidity and angry frustration is in character as well, as is Patty's pained annoyance.

Get Fuzzy: Make us a kipper butty, ar' kid, I'm well knackered.

"Ee ar, me nut flaps are burnin'" is officially the new funniest phrase in the history of ever.

Brevity: Good heavens, a deep sea cow!

I'm confused as to how a pair of apparently illiterate marine biologists made it through their Ph.D. programs.

Famiy Circus: Remember, Jeffy. If the dodgeball hits you, you'll be illuminated.

The hilarious thing about this cartoon, of course, is that Dolly actually means to say "eliminated," not "illuminated," and those two words don't, in fact, mean the same thing.

Stone Soup: But we seem to be in a monsoon.

This, sadly, is what passes for a subtle metaphor in the comics section.

In fairness, the comic strip is not a medium that lends itself well to subtlety. Part of this is because of the combination of imagery and words; there's a fairly significant tendency to draw something and then have a character explain the drawing.

That's most of the problem with this Stone Soup. It would have been a more interesting strip if the author had allowed the punchline to fall on the image. Just seeing the two characters standing together silently in the rain would have been more in fitting with the melancholic subject. Instead, she went for the easier laugh, and the comic suffers accordingly.

Hi and Lois: Spoiler Alert!

This is not how spoiler alerts work. Generally, when you issue a spoiler alert, you then go on to give away the spoiler. Otherwise, there's no need to alert anyone.

It seems to me that you really ought to understand the things you write about, but Mort Walker Inc. and Bil Keane obviously disagree.

Garfield: Am I in a horror movie?

Actually, it's Garfield, but that's an easy mistake to make.

I, myself, am often horrified while reading it.