Pluggers: A plugger has a problem finding a ribbon for his old Smith-Corona typewriter.

Let me Google that for any pluggers out there.

Family Circus: No, but how 'bout we play Hide-and-DON'T-Seek.

And Jeffy wasn't seen again for nearly three and half years.

Turns out, he was hiding behind the furnace in the cellar the whole time, living off of rats and rain water.

Boffo: A big part of the reason Picasso always had a hard time keeping studio partners

It would appear that Jeff Martin is confusing Pablo Picasso for Randall Munroe.

It would also appear that Martin loves all of my least favorite tropes, as this comic contains the always hilarious (false) premise that abstract art isn't real art.

Peanuts: What do you do with all the pictures of your hero when he gets sent down to the minors?

Peanuts is good. That is all.

Family Circus: We're makin' Mother's Day cards at school! But we're not to tell a soul, 'cause it's a secret!

Judging by her speech patterns, Dolly has the soul of a posh eighty-year-old lady trapped inside her body, struggling with limited success to get out.

I have to admit that I didn't see that one coming.

Buckles: I'm safe from that vacuum here!

As it turns out, torturing defenseless animals is even more hilarious when adults partake thereof.*

*Not really!

Ziggy: The businessman's lunch is just like the regular lunch, sir ... except that the government eats half of it!

Ziggy's evidently getting an early start on the tax humor this year.

In fairness, though, this cartoon raises an important point. Given his druthers, a businessman would obviously share half of his meal with other people. This is called "trickle-down nutrition." But because the government steals that half of his meal, he's forced to keep all of his remaining food for himself. And so we see, because of this confiscatory socialist action, everybody but the businessman starves. Until eventually there's nobody left to prepare the businessman's food. And so then the businessman starves too. And so then everybody's dead.

This is a perfect metaphor for economics.

Family Circus: How many one-of-a-kinds are there?

Jeffy appears to be wondering, in his own stupid way, whether his special blend of idiocy, douchebaggery, nudity and murderous rage is unique.

I can't say for certain, but I sure hope it is.

Dennis the Menace: Hot Dog's not as big as Ruff, but he's a lot harder to give a bath!"

And by "give a bath," Dennis obviously means "hold under water until he passes out."

Family Circus: The toilet's backed up.

Thel's life: still miserable.