Beetle Bailey: Hey, girls!

This comic is hilarious because Mort Walker Inc. is attempting to obscure its general sexism by acknowledging the specific sexism of one of its main characters.

Family Circus: ONE fly?

This cartoon is hilarious because the Keanes have turned their repressed rage against an oblivious insectoid scapegoat in the hopes that their family can finally find peace. Bill, of course, is attempting to ruin their plan, as he's rather fond of his repressed rage.

Luann: Weird, icky ... but sort of flattering.

This comic is hilarious because Luann's friends think she should prostitute herself for material gain.

Marmaduke: He got some sort of stimulus package.

This cartoon is hilarious because it mentions the phrase "stimulus package," but the usage of the phrase within the context of the cartoon is entirely inexplicable. Are we to take it to mean that Marmaduke has received money from the federal government? If so, for what? And why is what I presume to be a check arriving in a large box? Or is it just a regular package that Phil is humorously labeling a "stimulus package"? Or is it euphemism for some sort of bizarre animal sex toy?

Really, the moral of this cartoon is that Marmaduke should never go topical, as doing so inevitably ends in disaster.

Girls and Sports: Why isn't Marshall talking to that cute blond girl?

This comic is hilarious because women whom you do not immediately find physically attractive are not worth talking to.

Herb & Jamaal: Ever since I had that argument with my mother-in-law...

This comic is hilarious because Herb dislikes his mother-in-law.

Drabble: !! !!!! !! !

This comic is hilarious because women talk too much.

Family Circus: We filled the birdbath but forgot the soap.

This cartoon is hilarious because Jeffy is going repel birds from his family's yard by putting soap in the birdbath. He is going to do this because Jeffy hates all things that give other people pleasure.

Boondocks: Sure Sisqo is young, but I really think he deserves the lifetime achievement award.

The most impressive thing about this comic strip is that, though nobody has thought about Sisqo for years, it still rings true.

Ziggy: Sorry, full.

This cartoon is hilarious because the signs in the Ziggyverse are now not only distressingly menacing, but also bizarrely incoherent.