Mallard Fillmore: Who needs something that completely ignores you while expecting to be fed?

Oh, Mallard Fillmore, it's a good thing you're an adorable duck, or you're hatred of women would be really offensive.

Mark Trail: WHAT?

Five hundred dollars is a pretty darn good reward for a yellow Dalmatian puppy, but Greedy McMustache here is having none of it. Cherry is either shocked or on the verge of tears. It's hard to tell which.

Hi and Lois: Why are so many of the movies these days SEQUELS?

Everyone's so miserable in the HiandLoisverse that they can't even enjoy Toy Story 3.

This is not surprising, but it is sad.

Family Circus: I think we need to hem the sleeves on these pants.

Pants don't have sleeves, Jeffy's an idiot, etc., etc.

Beetle Bailey: There sure are a lot of hazards around Camp Swampy.

And so decapitated heads rolling around the roads are apparently commonplace in the world of Beetle Bailey.

This is not surprising.

Family Circus: We gotta wake Daddy. I found a spider that needs to be taken care of.

Bill will awaken shortly from yet another failed attempt to smother himself with his pillow and finally come to the understanding that maybe, just maybe, he is already in Hell.

Drabble: Dad, what would a cartoonist DO if he lost his glasses?

I am rather amused by today's Drabble. This has never happened before. I'm not entirely sure what to do.

Boffo: If dinosaurs were as insightful as they were powerful.

I like this comic better when it's called Dinosaur Comics.

9 Chickweed Lane: So what did you and Kiesl do on your last day?

This is 9 Chickweed Lane, so those middle panels are probably a metaphor. But, you know, what mother wouldn't want to tell her daughter in the most graphic detail possible about the time she sucked a Nazi's balls?

My Cage:Did you hear about Sal, the slug from accounting? He died.

My Cage is really on a roll lately.