Hi and Lois: Good. That color will go perfectly with the Flagstone's lampshade.

Hi and Lois is easily the most interesting legacy strip, if only for its wide variety of tones. It usually settles for simple gags, but occasionally forays into more controversial territory (I can't find it now, but it has explicitly acknowledged global warming in a nonjokey way before) and at times into outright misery, as is the case today.

Seriously, there's no humor content here. This is just a comic about an alcoholic, his unhappy wife and their collapsing marriage. Of course, the timeless state of the comic means that the marriage will never actually collapse, but remain in a perpetually collapsing state. But that only makes it all the more depressing.

Garfield: Just look at me. What do I have to show for myself?

Garfield is the sort of comic that does so many things wrong that it's easy to forget the things it does right. Garfield Minus Garfield has sort of rectified that, but today's installment is the rare instance in which the titular character's presence actually makes the comic better and, in this case, sadder.

Beetle Bailey: Can't I ever be alone?

This comic is hilarious because General Halftrack appears to be depressed and potentially suicidal.

Peanuts: Did the little boy who sits in front of you at school cry again today?

Life has never been easy.

Edge City: I need to pay more attention to them--they won't be around forever.

This comic is hilarious because Abby is worried that her largely neglected parents are going to die.

Funky Winkerbean: I think I prefer the more somber cover.

This is Funky Winkerbean. Of course she prefers the more somber cover.

Hi and Lois: Why are so many of the movies these days SEQUELS?

Everyone's so miserable in the HiandLoisverse that they can't even enjoy Toy Story 3.

This is not surprising, but it is sad.

Pearls Before Swine: What happened here?

One of my favorite things about Pearls Before Swine (and I have many favorite things about Pearls Before Swine) is the matter-of-fact way it deals with death. It doesn't trivialize death; rather it simply acknowledges death's always looming presence. And, of course, when all your characters are animals who would ostensibly be eating one another, death becomes an even more omnipresent threat than in the real world.

Pearls Before Swine: Dear life...

The tag I have here is "Melancholy," but this comic may cross that threshold and become something else entirely. Regardless, my favorite part may be the tacked-on nature of the punchline, which is funny only insomuch as it provides relief from the relentless darkness that came before.

Agnes: How did your day go?

Wouldn't this be a good day for any of us?

Agnes is a terrific comic strip.

Peanuts: What do you do with all the pictures of your hero when he gets sent down to the minors?

Peanuts is good. That is all.

Hi and Lois: Caw caw

Nothing happy ever seems to happen in the Hiandloisverse anymore. A little bit of actual death, and Funky Winkerbean better start watching its back.

Agnes: You look very happy, Grandma.

I've grown quite fond of Agnes. Odd how a lot of the best comic strips are the less well known ones.

Speed Bump: It's so quiet here now that the goldfish is gone.

I find this Speed Bump oddly affecting.

Hi and Lois: Irma and I had a big fight.

Ha ha! Marital discord!

Seriously though, even disregarding potentially unintentional alternate readings, Hi and Lois is a pretty depressing comic strip.

Beetle Bailey: Groan!

This comic is hilarious because everybody in Beetle Bailey hates their lives.

Peanuts: I can't stand it!

This is just brutal. Brutal.

And I mean that in the best way possible.

Cow and Boy: I don't understand. Did I come off as weird or creepy?

I don't have a lot to say about this Cow and Boy, but it's funny enough that it deserves some sort of mention. The combination of bizarreness and sadness is impressive.

Mutts: I bark therefore I am.

Patrick McDonnell may have been going for something cuter here, but this installment of Mutts contains an almost indescribably sad subtext, suggesting as it does that the dog's only consistent companion is its own voice.

Pearls Before Swine: Now death...that's real.

The thing about this cartoon is that I'm just not sure it's dark enough.