Sally Forth: And what are those?

I've mentioned before that the fellow who draws Sally Forth is a relative genius for his decision to solve the foot-drawing problem by always dressing his characters' feet in socks. The person who colors Sally Forth apparently hasn't caught on however, leading to a situation in which the cartoonist's genius is more or less nullified, as a normal comics reader who doesn't pay close attention to these things* would simply see Hillary's feet in the first panel as yet another foot-drawing abortion.

*read: virtually anyone who is not me.

Sally Forth: Monday

It sure is hard to believe that Ted once had to suffer through an emotionally crippling period of unemployment.

Sally Forth: This is why you don't have a sibling.

Sure, Ted, try to justify your impotence any way you like.

Sally Forth: IS he single?

This comic is hilarious because Sally's depressed sister wants to fuck her asshole boss.

No, really.

Sally Forth: Maybe he'll get fired. Then work for a fast-food place. Then get rehired. Then you get promoted and get your own staff.

Given that it quickly briefs readers on a continuing storyline while at the same time telling a fairly amusing joke, this is a pretty effective use of a flashback.

Sally Forth: Will you look at the size of this tree?

It has been my experience that Christmas trees do indeed grow every year. The first year my wife and I lived together, we had a one foot tall fake plastic tree rescued from my in-laws' garage. Now we have a real tree that's probably about five feet tall. Getting a larger tree up the stairs and into our apartment would be quite the ordeal, but when we buy a house, I imagine we'll get a tree like Sally and Ted's.

I do wonder when the trend reverses itself. My grandparents have had tiny and/or fake trees for as long as I can remember.

I suppose I should make a withering observation here so as to belatedly make this post worth reading. So this comic is hilarious because it indicates that there was once a time when Sally actually tried to preserve Ted's tenuous grasp on manhood. That time has, of course, long since passed.

Sally Forth: Well, it's the thought that ... no, get our money back now.

This comic is hilarious because Ted is never going to get laid ever again.

Sally Forth: Time to get you out of this funk, Mom.

In the next exciting installment of Sally Winkerbean: Sally walks into the attic and finds her mother's lifeless body dangling from the rafters. Annoyed but still witty, Sally remarks, "Geez, Mom, why don't we just hang around here all day?"

Sally Forth: Mom, why are you so depressed?

In the next exciting installment of Sally Winkerbean: Sally's mother continues to explain why she is unhappy. Sally makes fun of her some more. Sally's mother remains unhappy.

Sally Forth: Selma, that's the most you've said since you found that Japanese cat video.

This comic is hilarious because fat people like ice cream.

Sally Forth: We have a team to slaughter.

This comic is hilarious because Ted is attempting to alleviate his sexual frustration through his daughter's softball team, which sounds quite a bit worse than it actually is, but no more pathetic.

In the next exciting installment of Sally Forth: It doesn't work.

Sally Forth: He is my boyfriend! Not yours! Only I get to sit on his lap! Understood?!

This comic is hilarious because Sally's sister is worried that her boyfriend wants to fuck a cat.

Sally Forth: I was looking for something in the "Giant Robot" category when this appeared like manna from Heaven.

Ted Forth is a man of taste. And, more importantly, now I finally have an excuse to post this:


Seriously, how could anyone not want to watch this movie?

Sally Forth: What happened to you and Dad having another kid? Why not focus on that again?

Even her daughter realizes that Sally needs a good, relaxing fuck. Too bad she's married to Ted.

Sally Forth: I'm going to my cubicle to listen to "Guns of Brixton."

This is actually another good example of using Twitter to tell a joke about something else, which in this case is the uncoolness of Sally and her friends.

Mostly, though, this post exists because The Clash falls under The Vonnegut Axiom, such that any reference to said band will be considered worthy of an entry on this blog.

Sally Forth: Well, Jenny, your six-beers-a-day dad can - I mean, he'll be happy if you're happy.

This cartoon is hilarious because Jenny's dad is an alcoholic.