9 Chickweed Lane: ...Oh, Mr. O'Malley.

In the next exciting installment of 9 Chickweed Lane: Anal sex.

9 Chickweed Lane: What was I saying?

When Brooke McEldowney isn't fucking around with Nazi love triangles, he's often writing some of the best dialog in the comics section. Today's strip is a good example of that. There' nothing much happening. It's just two people talking. But the conversation is just so well done. It's a very natural sounding joke.

So, in short: fewer Nazi love triangles, more stories about two people talking.

9 Chickweed Lane: Oh, and he's gay.

There are certainly things to complain about in 9 Chickweed Lane--hand fucking, interminable Nazi love triangles*, whatever the fuck this shit is--but its casual inclusion of gay characters is definitely not one of them.

*And I see the Nazi love triangle has finally come to some sort of conclusion during my hiatus. I wonder if I should go back and find out what happ--nope, still don't care.

9 Chickweed Lane: ...

I can only assume, unfortunately, that this is foreshadowing, and the elderly hands will fuck doggy style.

9 Chickweed Lane: I said, "Don't forget me, Eva."

It's possible I'd be more moved by this story if I didn't know that it was going to end with a week's worth of elderly hand-fucking.

9 Chickweed Lane: I am ready to be discharged, Doctor.

And so I've been away from the comics section for approximately three weeks, and yet this interminable 9 Chickweed Lane story continues unabated. Bill is apparently getting out of the hospital now, so we should be on the back end of this thing, though I imagine McEldowney will find some way to drag it out for at least another few months.

9 Chickweed Lane: So what did you and Kiesl do on your last day?

This is 9 Chickweed Lane, so those middle panels are probably a metaphor. But, you know, what mother wouldn't want to tell her daughter in the most graphic detail possible about the time she sucked a Nazi's balls?

9 Chickweed Lane: I can tell from your salute.

I've been strongly considering saying nice things about the recent strips in this extremely long 9 Chickweed Lane storyline, which have greatly improved upon and even partially redeemed some of the more problematic strips from early in the story. But that will have to wait, because when Brooke McEldowney wanted to use a flashback to depict Edie fondly reminiscing about Bill in the midst of struggling to decide who to marry, McEldowney decided to go with the fucking hard-on joke.

This is not the first time he has made an odd artistic choice that undermined the dramatic momentum he had been building, and it probably won't be the last.

9 Chickweed Lane: Ich liebe dich.

This is actually very similar to the way I asked my wife to marry me (excepting the whole "Let's move to Austria" thing), so I'm glad to see it held up here as an example of a romantic proposal.

Speaking of 9 Chickweed Lane, I had a number of issues with the early portion of this story, but as it's gone along, it has improved a great deal. Since many of my past complaints had to do with what I saw as questionable depictions of gender relations, it seems only fair to point out that Brooke McEldowney has done a good job over the last month showing Edie moving on and living her life as a fully capable and independent human being. Of course, we're also told that she was waiting for Bill the whole time, but that's more a trapping of genre than anything else; she was waiting for Bill, but both Bill and Keisl were also waiting for her. This is a love triangle, after all.

Keisl is far preferable to Bill, by the way. So of course she'll end up with Bill.

9 Chickweed Lane: What did you say to him?

And the soul-sucking continues.

9 Chickweed Lane: How did you act when you realized who he was?

And so Edie is a succubus who has decided to suck Lieutenant Keisl's soul out through his eyeballs.

Maybe it was a mistake on my part, but I didn't see that one coming.

9 Chickweed Lane: ...

These last few 9 Chickweed Lane comics would probably be more emotionally resonant without the bizarre hand-fucking.

9 Chickweed Lane: I just beat the shit out of Colonel Horrocks.

I still have a ton of problems with this interminable 9 Chickweed Lane story, but I'm always a fan of hiding objectionable words behind chairs. In general, I just like the idea that word bubbles are part of the material world of the comics section.

9 Chickweed Lane: And thirteen hundred men silently heard me out.

But, of course, they were mostly just staring at her tits.

In all seriousness, though, if this story's going where I think it's going, I might have to amend some of the harsher things I've written about it. We'll see.*

*And friend of the blog dofnup may have a point, as well.

9 Chickweed Lane: ...Honey, these guys may be here to enjoy a tune, but they really like it when they can admire the instrument.

"No, really, all that matters is how fuckable you are. I hope you don't think they like you because you're talented or anything."

If I'm not mistaken, this is the guy Edie went on to marry. And isn't it obvious why?

9 Chickweed Lane: They may love your voice and yearn for your smile ... but it's your caboose that will win their hearts.

A slight corrective to yesterday's post: Remember, girls, whatever actual skills you might have, the most important thing is how hot you look your ass looks.

9 Chickweed Lane: Just stand there a moment and let them get a load of you.

Remember, girls, whatever actual skills you might have, the most important thing is how hot you look.

9 Chickweed Lane: Honey, just look pretty. They won't care what you're singing.

This comic is hilarious because it doesn't matter what women say, only how they look.

9 Chickweed Lane: I can tell from your salute.

This comic is hilarious because Edie has given Bill an erection.

9 Chickweed Lane: Speaker phone? ...Why?

This comic is hilarious because Brooke McEldowney has a very high opinion of his own storytelling prowess.