What I usually do here is point out all the unintentionally horrifying things the comics section portrays. It's basic deconstruction.
The Family Circus is supposed to be about how cute the kids are, but oh, look, they're actually monsters from Hell. That kind of thing.
But is there any reading of today's
Marmaduke that's not horrifying? It's hard to tell just what exactly Marmaduke's holding, and I presume it was drawn that way intentionally, but the most obvious interpretation is that it's a dead hedgehog or some other poor decaying creature. Which is only slightly less horrifying than the Comics Curmudgeon's suggestion that it's a
still-bleeding scalp.
But let's say it is a toupee. Where has Marmaduke found this toupee? The most likely answer is off of someone's head. But how has he gotten it off of this person's head? Was the person dead? Did he kill the person? Was the person passed out in a gutter? Was this person just out taking a walk, minding his own business, when Marmaduke suddenly leaped up and grabbed the toupee from his head? In which case, how could Marmaduke be sure that the walker's hair was false? Are we to believe that Marmaduke has such powerful observational skills that he can immediately differentiate false hair from real? Or was it just a lucky guess? In which case, it would just be a happy coincidence that it's not a still-bleeding scalp.
The most generous reading is that Marmaduke either found the toupee on the ground or stole it from a toupee store. But those are not at all the sorts of conclusions a reader would immediately come to upon seeing the cartoon. On the contrary, it seems to me that coming to one of those conclusions requires going through at least one or two of the other more horrifying possibilities.
All of which is to say, Marmaduke probably really is a monstrous killing machine. I just hope the
movie adaptation stays true to the character and doesn't try to tone him down in a misguided attempt to get a PG-13 rating and the younger audience it would entail.
Cartoons such as this serve to remind old people that even though it would be nice if their grandchildren loved them more, there are certain advantages to living in the real world.
Turns out something did actually happen: Rusty got hurt! But this happens so often in Mark Trail that it may as well be nothing.
This plan is so clearly better than just killing her, what with the very slim chance of backfiring and all.
This cartoon is hilarious because Marmaduke is sexually assaulting a random stranger while children look on happily.
It would be nice if people put more thought into their votes, but it's pretty clear that they generally don't. This Baldo reminds me of the old lady in the Goodwill store I overheard asserting that George W. Bush was a good president because of his chin. "He has a good, strong chin," she said. "A presidential chin." Indeed.
"Of course, even with all that, it would still suck."
The Family Circus is one-part autobiographical kids do and say the darnedest things and one-part nuclear family myth. This cartoon is of the second variety, in which the Keane clan is held up as the ideal family. It's supposed to be heartwarming and reaffirming for people who wish all families were like this, just like they were back in the good old days.
Oh no! I'm feeling very tense! This is quite suspenseful! I can't wait until tomorrow's Mark Trail, wherein the car will fall, but everybody will be perfectly safe! Either that or the car won't fall at all!
What I usually do here is point out all the unintentionally horrifying things the comics section portrays. It's basic deconstruction. The Family Circus is supposed to be about how cute the kids are, but oh, look, they're actually monsters from Hell. That kind of thing.
I am amused by "child-ogre." I can't help it. It's funny.
