Family Circus: I'm Old Father Time. I'm here to remind you to set your clocks back, except in Arizona, Hawaii, Puerto Rico..."

He is, of course, also there to take her soul to Hell. Not because it's Halloween or anything, but just because he's a Keane, and that's what Keanes do.

Mark Trail: S-h-h-h ... Did you hear that?

Jack Elrod's depiction of human behavior has always been somewhat at odds with actual human behavior. That he would now have us believe that Sassy is chasing after a deer "to make friends" with it throws serious doubt on the idea that Mark Trail is in any way a font of accurate information about animal behavior, either.

The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee: Her phone number.

This comic is hilarious because these old people are going to fuck each other even though we know from the comic strip Pickles that old people are disgusting and have no right to happiness.

Red and Rover: Trick or treat! Here--your mother-in-law is coming for a visit.

Serious question: was there ever a point in time when mother-in-law jokes were considered hip or funny?

Pluggers: Pluggers don't have to learn a lot of history ... they've lied it!

This cartoon is hilarious because pluggers are ignorant and solipsistic.

Family Circus: Some days my grandmother rode a horse to school.

This cartoon is hilarious because Billy has a limited understanding of the history of transportation in America.

The Born Loser and Luann: Paper clips.

Two things:
1. When you're making the same joke as The Born Loser, it's time take a step back and reassess your work.
2. Why does Greg Evans hate children?

Drabble: Good job! Here's an extra milk dud!

This comic is hilarious because Ralph enjoys seeing his wife tormented, and also because Ruth is tormented by stupid things because she's a woman.

Marmaduke: Mom! You're going to have to buy more Halloween treats.

In the next exciting installment of Marmaduke: Marmaduke eats yet more Halloween candy.*

*It never gets old!

Curtis: When I'm scrimpin' and pinchin' just keep the landlord off our backs and a pot of beans on the stove!

This comic is hilarious* because Curtis's family is having financial difficulties.

*Even Curtis himself thinks so!