Family Circus: I guess he hurt himself and his mommy is kissing it better.

This is not a healthy reaction to seeing a woman kiss a man.

Shoe: Post-paradigm-shift depression.

This comic is hilarious because it doesn't really mean anything at all.

Betty: Beep! Beep!

This is one of those cases where the comic would be better if the third panel were omitted, but actually omitting the third panel would probably render the joke incomprehensible to anyone who doesn't read the comics section every day. It's not the cartoonist's fault, so much as it a flaw in the medium. Daily exposition is a necessary component of even the very simple continuing stories in comic strips because cartoonists just can't trust their readers to stay up to date or pay a ton of attention. It doesn't have to be this way, of course, but it is the way the medium has evolved at the present time.

Sally Forth: Well, it's the thought that ... no, get our money back now.

This comic is hilarious because Ted is never going to get laid ever again.

Prickly City: I've been downgraded to "Wings Rock Band"...

You know, both Wings and Ringo get a bad rap. Wings did some good stuff. And Ringo was a genuinely talented drummer with a showman's flair. Even Yoko gets a bad rap. She is, after all, partially responsible for this. And it's not like The Beatles were going to last forever, anyway.

As for Prickly City, I have to say that I'm much more tolerant of it ever since I started reading Mallard Fillmore. It has two decent characters and is occasionally moderately amusing. It only really suffers, like most political strips, when it gets too political. There's a lesson there.

Marmaduke: We were helping at the soup kitchen, but Marmaduke ate all the soup.

This cartoon is hilarious because now poor people might starve.

Mark Trail: This is the best time Sassy and I have ever had, Mark!

Ha ha. Yes, this has been the best time ever, what with the ALMOST GETTING EATEN BY GATORS AND ALL.

Dennis the Menace: Can you take your shoes off? My mom says you have crow's feet.

This cartoon is hilarious because Dennis has a foot fetish.

The Phantom: I used Guran's medical genius to keep the madman alive!

The moral of this comic is that you should not help people because they might end up murdering your wife.

Family Circus: Can I volunteer to be some 'nother help?

The moral of this cartoon is that when you offer to volunteer, you should be sure to do it in the most confusing way possible. That way people will just smile at you pityingly, and probably let you go away without doing anything.