Non Sequitur: And here's my favorite app ... it's called the off button.

This comic is hilarious because the guy in the suit hates his cell phone. Of course, this didn't stop him from purchasing it.

Family Circus: I'd play a lot better if our backyard was eighty yards longer.

This cartoon is hilarious because Billy wishes he had a bigger yard.

Dennis the Menace: Instead of a bath, I asked if he'd like to take a dip in the river.

This cartoon is hilarious because Dennis is very stupid.

Bizarro: Compliments of the gentleman in section R, row 21, seat 7.

This cartoon is hilarious because some guy in the stands wants to fuck the pitcher.

Pluggers: When a plugger's wife has a little too much wine, he knows he's going to get lucky...

Ha ha. It's like rape. Except instead of fucking her, you steal her television.

Family Circus: Have you been a good boy, Jeffy?

This cartoon is hilarious because Grandma Keane apparently talks to her grandchildren as those they were dogs.*

*In Jeffy's case, of course, she might actually be right to do so.

Baby Blues and BC: So that's the secret, eh?

The use of puppy dog eyes is a bizarrely common device in the comics section, made even more bizarre by cartoonists' complete inability to draw them in a non-creepy way.

Family Circus: Where were we while all this was goin' on?

This cartoon is hilarious because Dolly is almost as immature and solipsistic as Amos and Edda.

Beetle Bailey: He should be landing shortly.

This comic is hilarious because Sarge has killed a guy.

Girls and Sports: That's it!! I'm leaving!!

This comic is hilarious because women are irrational and overly emotional.