Hagar the Horrible: Why are we here?

This comic is hilarious because life is meaningless and marriage is miserable ha ha ha.

Daddy's Home: These school forms are ludicrous...

This comic is hilarious because Pete would rather let his son die of exposure to peanuts than fill out a form.

Family Circus: A stop sign always has eight sides.

While it's hard to ruin something that's already as terrible as a Family Circus cartoon, the attempt to color this stop sign nonetheless does a good job of illustrating why coloring black and white dailies is such a terrible idea.

Prickly City: It's going to be OK, isn't it, Carmen?

This comic is hilarious because Carmen and Winslow have at last decided to throw themselves off a cliff.

Beetle Bailey: Wait! You forgot your briefcase.

This comic is hilarious because General Halftrack has Alzheimer's Disease and will soon cease to be a functional human being and will then die.

Ziggy: Books for dummies.

Ziggy collections can be found in each section, of course.*

*Zing!

La Cucaracha: Yo, Kanye, who invited you to our comic strip?!

This comic is hilarious because La Cucaracha actually somehow is worse than Marmaduke.

Beetle Bailey: What's "naive"?! French for "stupid"?

This comic is hilarious because Zero is stupid.

Family Circus: Okay, I'm ready now. Go ahead and play your new song.

And Dolly's (adorable!) cruelty remains unparalleled, as poor Billy will never play the trumpet ever again.

Wizard of Id: Food time, Spook!

This comic is hilarious because Spook's life is monotonous and horrifyingly inhumane.