Family Circus: Have you decided if you're gonna cry when I win?

Jeffy might be a serial killer, but no Keane is as unfeelingly cruel as Dolly. In this cartoon, for example, she appears to have made PJ shit his pants with nothing more than a harsh line and a steely glare.

Zits: I don't need a GSP!

Sometimes changing up a formula can be fun! And sometimes it can make no sense and completely undermine years of characterization.

I'll let you decide which is the case in re the Duncans' relationship with technology in today's Zits.

Blondie: Honey! Check out the unbelievable clarity of my new digital camera shots!

This comic is hilarious because Dagwood likes food.*

*It never gets old!

Marmaduke: Sorry. You can't borrow a steak with a library card.

I don't think I've ever praised Marmaduke before, but there's so much crazy shit going on in this cartoon that I sort of like it. Mostly, I'm just amused by the notion of Marmaduke having a library card in the first place.

Kit 'n' Carlyle: Being a kid's babysitter is not always a big advantage.

This cartoon is hilarious because the child is abusing the animal and might kill it.

Lola: Tax on this! Tax on that! There's a stinkin' tax on EVERYTHING!

One would think that Lola would be old enough to remember the days before 1980 when taxes were a lot higher than they are now. So perhaps she's not old, but instead the victim of a horrible aging disease.

It's more likely, however, that she's just the idiot mouthpiece of a lazy cartoonist.

Luann: Luann, I could hire a limo and take you to a fancy-pants restaurant.

Greg Evans should quit it with these tame intimations of HAWT LESBIAN SEX!1!@! and instead start up an uncensored, online version. Judging by the search traffic this blog receives, he would have a disturbingly large audience.

Drabble: I used a credit card!

This cartoon is hilarious because women have no concept of money.

Family Circus: Pass.

We here at The Comics Section are taking a break from our daily deconstruction of life in the Keane household, as the implications of this particular cartoon are far too horrific for even us to ponder.

The Knight Life: She beat me like Ike beat Tina!!

Spousal abuse is hilarious when it happens to celebrities.