Curtis: I enjoy scripted shows with real actors! Today's fare is a bunch of kids on ugh "reality" or "comptetition" crapola!

This comic is hilarious because it's so completely true that television today consists of nothing but lame reality shows.

Family Circus: How much longer till it gets dark, Mommy?

Jeffy looks a little sad here. And it's because he knows what's going to happen when the sun goes down. While his brothers and sister squeal with glee and stuff their faces with smores by the flickering light of the campfire, Jeffy will be transforming into a werewolf that thirsts for the blood of his family. His only hope is to lock himself in the outhouse, but since he's Jeffy, he also knows he's far too stupid to figure out how to work the lock.*

In short, the Keane family is doomed.

*This, of course, is all a story he has made up in his mind to justify his perverse and violent urges. He is not a werewolf. Rather, he is just an ordinary, run-of-the-mill serial killer. Someday, perhaps he will be able to face the truth. But not tonight. Definitely not tonight.

The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee: Ya know, I really like you. How come I never see you around?

This comic is hilarious because Gill is addicted to porn.

Shoe: That's how long I had to wait in line to buy them.

This joke would make a lot more sense if you actually had to go to the post office to get stamps.

So Cosmo's just a dumbass, basically.*

*I am not surprised by this.

Adam at Home: $10 in tax??? That's an outrage!

In the next exciting installment of Adam at Home: Adam reads his children The Fountainhead, teaching them that going Galt is patriotic and that rape is kind of hot.

La Cucaracha: Lemme see you dance.

Child abuse is hilarious when it happens to a celebrity.

Beetle Bailey and The Born Loser: Bleep Bleep Bleep!

When Beetle Bailey*, The Born Loser and The Family Circus are all using variations on the same joke, it is highly unlikely that the joke is funny or hip, no matter how meta it may be.

*Beetle Bailey comic from 7-30-09. But it has used this joke at least two other times within the last month or so.

Family Circus: I TOOK a bath before we came!

This cartoon is hilarious because Jeffy does not like bathing. I hear this might be true of other small children, but it is yet again only Keane Inc. that has the balls to tell it like it truly is.

Zits: "Girl" is my favorite flavor.

So Jeremy is a cannibalistic serial killer.

I am actually kind of surprised by this.

Ziggy: This is a very routine operation--why don't you climb up on the desk...and we'll get it over with!

This cartoon is hilarious because Ziggy is about to get raped. Again.