Hagar the Horrible: It's what you have left after the government takes its share that's important!

Because we didn't get enough lame tax humor in April.

Family Circus: They 'LICKED the platter'? Isn't that bad manners?

This cartoon is hilarious because Dolly is not good at literary analysis.

Hi and Lois: Save your breath...send a text.

Ha ha! Technology!

This is one of those cases where it would have been useful for someone at Mort Walker Inc. to point out that the mere existence of something relatively new does not make it inherently funny.

Blondie: I've got a customer who wants to take his beeper home with him.

So Dagwood thinks slavery is awesome.

I'm actually not surprised by that.

Sally Forth: What happened to you and Dad having another kid? Why not focus on that again?

Even her daughter realizes that Sally needs a good, relaxing fuck. Too bad she's married to Ted.

Family Circus: G'night, Daddy! I think I better go to bed now!

This cartoon is hilarious because Thel is physically abusing Jeffy.

Baby Blues: Anyway, that's what it feels like to be me lately.

Considering that Jerry Scott created both of them, it's not surprising that Baby Blues and Zits are very similar strips. And so pretty much everything I wrote about Zits here applies to Baby Blues, too. The characters are sometimes too broadly archetypal (though, slightly sharper than the characters in Zits) and it sometimes leans too heavily on relatability, but the drawing is often terrific.

Such is basically the case with today's installment. The image in the second panel is just top-notch absurd humor. The faucet-breasts, in particular, are especially funny.

Pearls Before Swine: Dinky dinky dink.

For the past week, Pearl Before Swine has been running a series of thinly-veiled dick jokes.

That is all.

Mark Trail: Now, Andy!

And so Mark Trail is apparently transforming into manga. Should I have seen that one coming?

Family Circus: I'm glad we have PJ! It's nice to have a little kid around.

This cartoon is hilarious because Dolly lacks self-awareness.