Drabble: Why did you change the channel?

This comic is hilarious because Norman doesn't want to watch pornography with his little sister.

My Cage: Ever notice that most newspaper columns aren't that topical?

I am not the sort of person that merely enjoys meta humor for the sake of meta humor. It's not nearly as hip and edgy as people seem to think. That said, this is some good meta humor.

Wizard of Id: Bung! Check out my new helmet.

And so Rodney has now taken to fucking cows.

It was only a matter of time, really.

Family Circus: We left the picture black and white so you get you get to color it however you like.

It was an especially heartwarming moment in the Keane household, until PJ decided to take a dump right in the middle of it.

Family Circus: We voted and on Father's Day Daddy gets to play with us ALL DAY!

By "we voted," Billy of course means, "Dolly let us pretend to vote, though there was only one option we could vote for and write-ins weren't allowed. She said this is what democracy's going to be like in the future."

The Phantom: You don't happen to know the number for nine-one-one, do you?

"Just kidding!"

THIS MUST NEVER END.

Herb & Jamaal: Everyone lies, Rev. Croom.

And so the pastor in Herb & Jamaal cheats on his taxes.

Considering that every character in this comic strip is insufferable, this is hardly surprising.

Luann: Well, Pud, I've got absolutely nothing to do.

I actually find it kind of endearing that though the drawing of all the other characters has changed a great deal and become much more refined, the dog in Luann remains this ridiculous, cartoony-looking thing. And Pud is pretty good name for a cartoon dog, too.

Dennis the Menace: Got room for ME?

This is creepy. This is very, very creepy. This is quite possibly the creepiest thing I have ever seen.

Also, it turns out it didn't take very long at all.

Family Circus: Mommy! Dolly keeps bother me!

Poor Billy is apparently under the impression that Thel still has some modicum of control over Dolly. Sadly, that ship sailed quite a while ago, as Dolly's smug reply indicates.

Rubes: Yesiree, there's nothing like the smell of fear to really stimulate the ol' appetite.

Rubes isn't exactly breaking any new ground here. But it made me laugh. That's enough, really.

Pluggers: I'm going to the hardware store as soon as I read "Family Circus" and "Marmaduke."

Pluggers read The Family Circus and Marmaduke.

This is the least surprising news ever.

The Phantom: Texting? Give those thumbs a rest!

Here we see The Phantom taking a break from terrorizing alleged terrorists to make awkward observational humor about these kids today and their smart phones.

This should become the format of The Phantom from here on out. No more pirate adventures. Just let The Phantom walk around New York City and point out all the stuff that strikes him as odd. "Turn those baseball caps around kids!" "What's with all these pizza places?" "Man, that guy on the bluetooth is a douche!"

BC: You've been married for 20 years, Jake.

The thing about adultery that so many people don't seem to understand these days is that it's HILARIOUS.*

*OK, not really.

Ziggy: I'd like to help, sir, but my union won't allow it!

Given Ziggy's political philosophy, it's hardly a surprise to see a bit of good, old-fashioned union bashing. In fairness though, it is a well known fact even among liberals, socialists and other communists that unions really are the primary cause of most lobster attacks. These communists just think that the benefits of unions outweigh the occasional claw to the face. When the lobster apocalypse comes, though, everyone will know who to blame.

Crock: My first date with Betty White.

The Betty White meme is officially dead. I'm sorry. It was fun while it lasted. And I happen to love Betty White. I watched her in Mary Tyler Moore and some in The Golden Girls and in seemingly countless other things. And now she's really old and adorable and was on Saturday Night Live and has a new sitcom on TV Land and it's all great, but I'm sorry, it's over. Crock just made a joke about it. Nothing can recover from that.

Get Fuzzy: Stop! I'll kill you!

Bucky wearing a onesie wins the day.

Family Circus: Mommy, which is shorter--a "CAT nap" or a "PEOPLE nap"?

The catnap thing is usually Dolly's territory, but the lack of clothing makes this cartoon all Jeffy.

Blondie: It says here that this cola is a new and improved formula.

Wow, a New Coke joke. And only 25 years too late. But, of course, that only makes it more hilarious.

The Phantom: If I know KIT, he's hunting men like CHATU this very MINUTE!

And so Diana apparently knows that she married a violent, vengeful douche who would immediately abandon their children in an effort to work out his own violent, vengeful, douchey grief. And she likes him that way!

Their kids are going to turn out great.

Family Circus: I wanna go visit that country. It's my favorite color.

Oh, look, the whole world is Dolly's favorite color.

This is not surprising.

Dennis the Menace: It's tough times for lemonade salesmen, Joey.

And so the recession has come to Menaceville. How long will it be before Dennis is forced to return to his rentboy days?

Beetle Bailey: Otto, you're supposed to be man's best friend.

Possible reasons for Sarge's self-loathing:

1. He's a repressed, closeted gay man.
2. He has been beaten down by years of cruel mockery.
3. He has a sneaking suspicion that his best friend actually hates him.
4. He is ashamed of his hideous, hideous feet.
   

Family Circus: Mommy! PJ's startin' to create another disaster!

No longer content with merely being a moralistic prophet, Billy has moved into the realm of the apocalyptic. He has seen a vision, and in that vision PJ's doodles creates a schism in the very fabric of space-time, thus trapping them in a never-ending time loop, as symbolized by a horrible circle that encompasses each of their activities and freezes their words in a bold typeface below the ground.

Edge City: I'M GOING TO CAMP!

Congratulations to Edge City for being the first comic to reach for the summer camp trope. With two children characters in the strip, the author should be able to use it twice without too much trouble. A third time in one summer might be pushing it, but if it's still producing this much hilarity, who's to say it would be wrong?

Beetle Bailey: Sarge shouldn't squeeze his toothpaste till he's fully awake!

On the surface, this is a comic about toothpaste on people's heads, ha ha.

But dig a little deeper. As Beetle notes, Sarge is still asleep. As such, it's entirely possible that this whole scenario is, in fact, one of Sarge's dreams. And dreams often take the form of metaphor. So here we are in the dreaming mind of Sarge, a self-loathing, deeply repressed, closeted gay man, holding a cylindrical "tube" and spraying a stream of "toothpaste" all over his coworkers' OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY.

NO, LOOK, TOOTHPASTE ON PEOPLE'S HEADS HA HA HA.

Family Circus: Mommy, can Michael and Linsey come in our house to PLAY?

These kids today with their TVs and their iPods and their Internets and their Nintendos and their [insert piece of technology that for whatever reason might not constitute "playing" here].