The Quigmans: My wife is a quality woman ... and I should know ... I had her professionally appraised.

Normally I'd write something like this off as satire, but this is The Quigmans, so there's really no way to know. I'm pretty sure the author was trying to make fun of the phrase "he/she's a quality person,"* and accidentally revealed himself to be the kind of person who views women as objects. But maybe he just really likes writing comics about terrible, terrible human beings. Either way, it sure is hilarious.**

*For what reason, we may never know.

**Not really!