I'm really just sort of shocked there's a comic strip, or any piece of supposed entertainment in any medium in the world, that would actually be lazy enough to use this absurdly old joke in such a straight and unironic fashion.
And so, with that, The Born Loser has manage to undercut even my very lowest expectations. It's really kind of impressive, I guess.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Shoe: What is the best thing about your mortuary business?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Family Circus: But I don't know how to play it quiet.
Blondie: Bumstead's the only person in the office with a "Cheeseburger in Paradise" ringtone!!!
Nobody ever seems to believe me when I tell them that "Cheeseburger in Paradise" is actually a somewhat depressing song about existential longing. Look, the character in the song wants a cheeseburger. But he can't have it! He's stuck out on the ocean living off of sunflower seeds and carrot juice. And the song ends not with him actually reaching port and eating a cheeseburger, but with him crying out to God asking which way to steer, recalling nothing less than Christ on the cross demanding to know why his father has abandoned him. It's a song about how these things we wish for--heaven, salvation, cheeseburgers--are always just out of reach.
Dagwood relating so literally to the character and turning to the song as a form of wish-fulfillment is also somewhat depressing, so Blondie and Jimmy Buffet have that in common.
Something else they have in common, of course, is how much they suck. Which, for the record, is a lot.
Dagwood relating so literally to the character and turning to the song as a form of wish-fulfillment is also somewhat depressing, so Blondie and Jimmy Buffet have that in common.
Something else they have in common, of course, is how much they suck. Which, for the record, is a lot.
Doonesbury: I know I'm pretty low on the food chain, but the truth is I do enable people to order unhealthy amounts of food.
Today's Doonesbury is just a good, solid example of the character-based humor that Gary Trudeau can do in his sleep. And this kind of thing is the reason the strip is so good. The political humor is fine, and I agree with most of it, but it's the impressively textured world that Trudeau has built that really makes the comic go.
It's also a nice piece of joke construction, with a lengthy, well-written set-up leading into a short, unexpected punchline.
It's also a nice piece of joke construction, with a lengthy, well-written set-up leading into a short, unexpected punchline.
Shoe: My ride cost over $250,000.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Family Circus: The best way to get a hamster is to first ask for a pony.
Blondie: What do you put on your cheeseburgers?
Of course, as his facial expression in the final panel indicates, Dagwood talking about food on the internet is less like him logging onto Facebook and more like him logging into a chatroom wherein people share their fetishes with one another. That his children are watching him while he does this just adds to the, um, hilarity?
Close to Home: On weekends when they were in the modd to party, the young cats would do power shots of mice.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Girls and Sports: Marshall, I've got a great new bar for us!
Drabble: Their food prices are so cheap, I don't know how Bulk Club makes any money!
Actually, Bulk Club makes money by leveraging its suppliers into selling for very little. This, in turn, forces those suppliers to set up their manufacturing plants overseas. Meanwhile, other retail and grocery stores have to slash their prices so they can compete with Bulk Club. To do this, they cut their employees' wages. Even after they do this, many of them go out of business. Bulk Club then hires some of its suppliers' and competitors' former employees at reduced wages and hours. Those employees then can't afford to shop anywhere besides Bulk Club, the aisles of which they wander while wondering how it could make any money.
But, right, big bottle of antacid. It's funny cause it's true!
But, right, big bottle of antacid. It's funny cause it's true!
Family Circus: Why do I hafta wash my HANDS? I'm eating with a knife and fork.
This cartoon is hilarious because Billy has been helping Jeffy bury bodies.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Marmaduke: We spend a lot of money eating out, but look how much Marmaduke spends eating in!
Don't worry, kids. The Winslow house isn't going to fall down. It only looks that way because Marmaduke's so darn big that he's skewed the perspective of the entire cartoon!
Ziggy: Assume the position.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Pearls Before Swine: If he has all the daily struggles and worries that we do. And if so, what I could do to help him get rid of them.
Brevity: King of Beepers
Considering the constraints of the single-panel cartoon, Brevity couldn't really have done this joke any better. Beyond the mere gag of nobody using beepers any more, it actually does a pretty good job of establishing the character, which is impressive considering it's not someone we've ever seen before or will ever see again.
Unfortunately, 30 Rock did its own variation on the exact same joke, and Brevity's version pales rather harshly in comparison.
Unfortunately, 30 Rock did its own variation on the exact same joke, and Brevity's version pales rather harshly in comparison.
Family Circus: I can't play with you 'till I'm finished workin' here in my cubicle.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Betty: If it helps, think of it as an app for your iBod.
While The Family Circus settles for combining just two tropes, Betty manages to riff lamely on three of them:
- Kids get bored easily,
- It's boring inside, but FUN FUN FUN outside, and
- These kids today with their computers and their iPods and their techhoozits!
Family Circus: I don't have anything to do!
Not counting this post, I've written about the misadventures of the Keane clan 54 times, and have found the resulting cartoon moderately decent only once. Today's installment marks twice.
To be sure, it's still not good, exactly. The Family Circus is never good, exactly. The joke is older than time itself, and the execution is far from compelling. But it does what it's supposed to do, which is provide a nostalgic, slice-of-life childhood memory that might potentially make a reader smile. And while it's not for me--because, seriously, fuck Billy and his insipid daydreams--there's a place for this sort of thing in the comics section. It would just be nice the Keanes were capable of competence more often than two-fifty-fifths of the time.
To be sure, it's still not good, exactly. The Family Circus is never good, exactly. The joke is older than time itself, and the execution is far from compelling. But it does what it's supposed to do, which is provide a nostalgic, slice-of-life childhood memory that might potentially make a reader smile. And while it's not for me--because, seriously, fuck Billy and his insipid daydreams--there's a place for this sort of thing in the comics section. It would just be nice the Keanes were capable of competence more often than two-fifty-fifths of the time.